34 weeks later...
6 weeks to go! So when I need to milk it I now use the term 'heavily pregnant'!...very dramatic and impossible to argue against. I feel I've earned the impact of that phrase!
This time around, my unborn child has decided to give me a bump that looks like I'm faking it and have just shoved a basketball up my top. At least I am now well and truly at the point where I can wear tighter tops and feel proud of my ever enlarging size, rather than a month or two ago where I just looked I was still struggling to lose the extra weight Christmas was kind enough to lend me.
Prepare yourself for the upcoming story which made me scrunch up my face and think 'Ahh, you're not always crap are you?!'. My husband (presumably in one of the moments in between me being over hormonal and almost unbearable to be around) booked us a couple of days away in Prague without the kids. A 'This is the last time we will get to hang out just the two of us and actually get to finish a sentence without someone asking for food, the toilet or telling me something unimportant' trip, otherwise more commonly known (mostly by those without kids yet) as a Babymoon.
People have raved about Prague so I was very excited about not only the lack of my darling children, but heading somewhere new. It is as fab as everyone says. It took less than two hours to fly there and everything about the old town is beautiful. A little gutted we went at a time I can't drink given that Staropramen is one of my favourite beers, but out there they do a very quaffable non-alcoholic version. Happy days! (Local produce consumed...Czech! (get it?!) We had a couple of very chilled days wandering through old cobbled streets (culture absorbed...Czech!), eating amazing food by the river side and on the water at a beautiful floating restaurant over looking the Charles Bridge. And to top it all off, we very much enjoyed the fact that the only only repeated question we had to answer was "Would you like another beer?"...you can guess the answer.
Walking for a long time does take it's toll on me a little at the moment (cue mini violin), so my lovely Schnookems had already thought of this and booked us into a Spa hotel. Couples Massage booked...Czech! Now, the massage we had was a 'Traditional massage'. I had no idea how a Czech massage would differ from a Swedish or English one, but we were about to find out! The set up seemed standard, the pre-massage questions were the same including "How much are you pregnant?"..."Quite much!"..."Great".
We laid down on the beds in a nice smelling, gently lit room. The therapist headed over to the speaker (with iPod attached) and we were ready for the plinky-plonky music to begin our journey of relaxation. This is the bit I would pinpoint as where it differed. The best way to describe the music she chose would be a combination of Gospel choir and Chris Rea singing Cotton eye Joe. To say it was random would be an understatement. I started to vibrate as I desperately tried to hold back the laughter. I looked across at Scott for confirmation that I wasn't on glue and he too could hear this, to see a woman kneeling on his back pouring oil on him. My woman asked me "How are you feeling?". I replied "Ok?!"
The music faded to the next track which continued to be just as, if not more weird. Now it was a man with a deep, slow south American drawl narrating a heart felt moment in his life with of course the backing of the Gospel voices. I paraphrase, but the lyrics were along the lines of...
"The sun was beating down hard the day that Daisy rode into town,
A mighty woman jumped off her horse and looked me up and down.
The way she moved, they way she spoke did something strange to me,
I'll never forget her rough, deep voice or how she stood to pee..." (Gospel voices...Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh!)
My massage continued, a very gentle, wipey massage along the lines of how I image it feels to be basted ready for cooking. But heck, I was more than happy. I was lying down with no-one asking me for a snack or if they could go to the toilet. I have low expectations of the intensity of a massage when you're 'Quite much' pregnant. So happy days!
When telling people about the trip, I felt the obligation to start every sentence with "I love my children but..." So here it is. I love my children, but it was great to have a few days away with hubby before the noise increasing arrival of baby number four. I highly recommend a babymoon before every child arrives. You're appreciation of the little things that don't happen when the kids are around, gives you that extra level of euphoria!
Thanks Schnookems! and happy Babymoon to anyone soon to head off!