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A Gender what Party?!


Human Mum, Zoe Christien, Gender reveal party

Ok, so I think I've just read one of the most annoying things ever. An article about how to hold the ultimate 'Gender-Reveal Party'. I believe my friends know me well enough to not invite me to one of these events. My complete lack of ability to hide expressions on my face (the expression being 'what the ?!') and at 23 weeks pregnant, the standard lack of inner monologue, would not make me the most enthusiastic guest.

So how would this party work then? You gather a group of friends together by Facebook or WhatsApp ensuring you include as many pink and blue emojis as you can find. Next, those friends who buy into this or are always up for a free glass of Prosecco, dutifully attend having paid the baby tax (sorry I mean have brought a gender neutral gift). You open the pile of beige gifts and repay your guests generosity with the amazing news that the baby is a [boy/girl]. They say that it's amazing news (they give the same answer of course either way) and hope that you will give them some form of hint that its was either what you'd hoped for, were totally gutted and needed to get your head around this or (much like your new beige gifts) are completely neutral about it.

I can't help feeling this has the potential to be a real "Oh that's cool" moment. The upside of course being that there would now be a celebration which has more of anticlimax than New Years, when we're all too drunk to truly appreciate the non-excitement that for the next 12 months we get to write a number one higher than the number we wrote before.

I don't want to be a grump about this (too late), but my friends and family are so generous when I have a baby that this just feels like rinsing them. Also, before you run off and plan said Gender party, bare in mind the cost to yourself. The article I read included finishing touches (not even the main event) of a £165 'Reveal cake', pink and blue plates (so glad we're not shirking gender cliches in this) and a pink and blue Piñata! (I kid you not).

I can't help but wondering "What next?!" A 'Has my boob milk kicked in yet' shower? All you guests have to work out by how much you're crying or how engorged you are as to whether you're now fully lactating. Maybe a 'Did I prolapse' party. A couple of rounds of musical chairs and then everyone has to place their bets without you giving too much away whilst hiding the bag of frozen peas between your legs!

For those of you who have already sent out your pink and blue invitations to your Gender Reveal Party, have a great time. A money saving tip, it might be worth holding onto the decorations incase they discover later in life they were born in the wrong body and you can use them all over again!

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